I've a very big apetite. Aku tak suka layan orang, kbye.
Friday, April 29
Happy birthday wehhhh<3 lots of love SYAZA
Wednesday, April 27
Lawlzzzz, saya memang kejam pasal blog :D I private it from public, before someone get hurts? Yaaa, baik lah aku private. Susah nak puaskan hati manusiaaa ni. Masing-masing dengan EGO yang melampuihhh, for sure I do have my EGO. Aku tahu aku manusia yang... Ah, tidak perlu daku jelas kan lagi, aku memang bnyk melukakan hati kawan baik aku. Tengok, betapa bebalnya aku! Bodoh kau *mcm fea moa ckp* Eh betul ke eja? Ah kesah pulak. Tak sampai hati aku nak private, tapiiiiii.. Err, aku memang jenis bodoh mcm ni. Semua gelak sekarang! Aku tahu tak ada kena mengena. Lantaklah, hmm. Setiap malam aku mesti tengok gmbr kwn2 aku dkt laptop. Aku tahu mama perasan, dh tengok lepastu nangis. Ah bebal-.- Aku nak mintak maaf gila dkt diorang, aku tahu ah aku bodoh en tak pikir lah apa semua. SORRY :( Tapi ada satu masalah, aku tak tahu mcm mana nak mintak maaf. Tengok. Bodoh lagi aku ni!
Hell yeahhh-.- And today is my beloved mama birthday :) Besides I got tuition-.- Trouble me somemore. Nk skip taknak? Takyah ahh. Kay out of here :)
All of sudden, while me was yawning in tuition class. And my eyes full of filter water. Amir shouted
Syaza selalu keseorangan. Kesian dia.
Hahaha. *laying down*
Lol me-.- I used to be like that lah Amir :) I dont mind kay. I'm tired of the stress that my family, relationship and schools give me like bonus for me. I try to fake a smile but no matter how hard I try this, its not going work at all. I cant stand with all the madness. I try to look past the pain but it takes all over my body. Espeacially my eyes :( It makes my heart pounced with pain, I look at all your pictures and smiled. I read all your old messages, and I cried. I'm tired of living day by day without you. I'm tired to make unreproductive face with you when we meet at school. Seriously :'( Kbyee.
Im so sorry for being so emotional and so possessive. I'm sorry if I do hurts you so many times. I'm sorry for each of the fight. Sorry for being so immatured towards you. But believe me, i love you so much. Na'aah, I cant forget you :( Should I say sorry for that?
Today I woke up at 7:05 and inteadly take my bath. I didnt go to school today anyway :D I bet, all my classmates must be wondering 'Eh, empat-empat tak datang?' Hahaha, aku tahu. Mesti class sunyi gila en? Tak ada orang nak melawan cakap cikgu harini :p So on, Syazana, Shahira, Syazwani and me went to pwtc. Oh, forgot. Kak Idahyu folows us to. Yaa, tireddd weh-.- Gambar gila banyak do. Tak sabar nak tunggu Shahira upload. Okay, done. Babah dah balik.
Man, I always find myself stuck between this mess. From what I know, I've never been a boyfriend stealer before. Nor like this girl, harap mak bapak alim. Perangai anak mcam haram-.- Pegi matilah weh!
Let me start with number 1
Definitely KILL her.
No. I'm just joking. Don't want to be famous in a bad way! Imagine " A teenage girl kills her boyfriend's ex for being such a psycho " spreads all over the world. The news paper. Online. Blogger. Facebook. Twitter. Hahaha. So embarassing weh! Yes, at the same time, I'll be spending about 20-23 years of my life, no.. maybe MY WHOLE LIFE in the jail.. OR worse, death sentence for murdering.
2. Get her a new boyfriend. I am totally agree with this. But, how? Ahh, let her be. She'll get bored and find herself a new boyfriend. If you're a guy, you know what to do! Go get her! Hahah.
3. Make her jealous. I know this is pathetic. But, hey come on! What kind of ex doesn't get jealous when they see their ex boyfriend with someone new? Unless, they don't love him anymore, she won't. Don't worry, the psycho type will definitely will. Let me tell you something, if you choose to take this step, act professional. Just go with the flow.
4. Face her. Tell her everything. A girl-talk could help. If she pick a fight with you or starting to get you on your nerves, start acting! and tell her this..
"Roses are red, Violets are blue, he's for me, not for you, and if by any chance, you take my place, I'll take my hand, and smash your face."
5. Get along with the situation. Play along with her games. Be smart and professional. You got nothing to lose if you play it well. Remember not to affect your relationship. Plus, You got to make sure that everything you do is harmless or you'll pay for it.
Let's say she text you something like :
" Hey, I saw your boyfriend with another girl. "
" Really? Another girl? You must be mistaken, that girl IS me "
6. Carry on. You know he loves you, and you love him too, just keep the fact going strong. She'll realize this one day, some day and finally back off.
7. Play the waiting game. Just wait and see what she's capable of. Let's just hope that she'll give up and move on.
8. Do nothing. Be careless. Who cares, you got your boyfriend with you now. Just go on with your relationship!
Have you ever felt so sad, so hurt, so depressed that you were at your lowest point? You were crying all night long and no one was there to even calm you down, the only "company" you had were your favourite pillow and blanket. Your head throbs, your heart breaks, you feel worthless as every minute goes by, checking your phone for a simple text but nope, nothing. After hours, his name pops up on your screen. Of course, for a moment there you hesitate. What girl wouldnt hesitate, what girl wouldnt think if she should go back to what made her into such a mess?
And this is what you boys call ego.
I guess you only see what you want to. You dont see us being just a person with a massive amount of feelings. You dont see us being afraid of getting our hearts split again. Do you even know how scared we are? No, all you think is that one small move of us refusing is ego. Its called fear, idiot. Fear of ever being so weak,of ever being so depressed, fear of being so fucked up like the time you kept me waiting for you.
When I was crying my eyes out, screaming to my pillow, wishing I would never have to go through another day of life again, where the fuck were you? You will never understand, we may laugh on the outside, try to understand your problems, adjust with your situation, but fucking take a look in our point of view once in a while. Life doesnt only revolve around you. Why should I stay and get myself hurt while you wont even be there to calm me down when I have the chance to walk away while I still can?
Relationships come with a lot of tribulations. We fight, we yell, we get jealous, we cry, we feel pain, we hurt, we scream, we get frustrated, we get angry, we get upset, we break up and our emotions take us over. So why do we do it? Why would we want to feel not just sad, but truly hurt, sad to the point where your whole body hurts just because of one person, sad to the point where you feel empty when everything falls apart, sad to the point where your heart aches for the company of that being. I’ll tell you why I do it, its because besides all those moments when your stupidity gets in the way of what your truly feeling and you “fight”, the moments when you are truly loving someone are the most touching, astounding, magnificent moments you will ever experience. When two people are just loving each other its magical.
And to those of you who are to scared of getting hurt and too scared of the baggage that comes with relationships, let me tell you this, having someone you love and having them love you back is a feeling that you can not substitute. Having someone look at you with such a deep emotion is remarkable. Having someone touch with so much care brings a feeling of weightlessness throughout your whole body. Having someone whisper they love you feels like they screamed it. Having someone to hold your hand at all times just feels special. Having someone to be your best friend and be loyal to you and never lie to you feels so safe. So yeah, relationships suck, breaking up hurts, but having that someone that you feel so comfortable with, someone that you let inside your soul, someone that lets you inside theirs, someone to talk to at all hours during the day, someone to laugh with, someone to fall asleep with, having someone that is your other half for whatever amount of time you are together, is true beauty and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Its almost 1months my eyes burst out like..Ergh, I dont know what to excpect. Many thanks toSyazana, omaygoddd! She is good at calming someone down. Thanks weh :'( Terharu gila do. For the most, thnks toAtiqahfor giving me support and sound me like 'Wth you're still thngking about him, try to forget Syaza' Im off without that weh. Sumpah, gentle tak tipu ni aku memang takboleh. Thanks all, Teeha Shahira Syafiqah and Syazwani. I owe you. Like look what, Im trying to avoid myself from type any humors status in Facebook. Aku kalau part memaki ni memang suka. What I need is P A T I E N T ! Bersabar separuh dari iman kan? Haa, stick on that Syaza :) Yeah, aku memang suka dia layan aku mcm sampah. Tak apaa, buat lah kay? Status semua tuju dkt aku :) I rather keep myself in cool mode. Buatlah sampai puas tau tau. I know that everyone were just like talking about me, jamin 100% nama aku rosak :) Terima kasih lah yee, hargai sesangat. Wait for my next post, going for my bath. Kbyee
Mum woke me up early as usually, and I'm feeling so depressed. I woke up and instead get shower and performs. My mind and my heart, just like puzzle. I realize that everything is not fine -.- I need someone to get me lay down and relax. I read surah yassin and praised to Allah. And now, I feel more better. But.. I just cant go through my life anymore. Seriously, aku nak mati je boleh tak? Stress gila ah-.- ERRR
Okay now, starts my day of sound of the dog barking several times behind my grandma house. Many thanks to them, nak sambung tidur. Terus tak jadi. I feel drowsy and tired cried all the time. Well, Im so difficult to get normal back, which means.. Easily to smile, laughing my ass out and eating all the time. All what I need is to get better relationship with him and sleep. My body, my mind, my eyes becomes so heavy. So now I'm trying to left out what Im feel this by typing something un-hypnotize.
After this maybe I'll inactive updating my blogs and so on. Its April! I need focusing in my study, spend my time on tuition and revise all subject in form1 and form2. Gahh-.- Only weekends I'll online-ing Fb and Twitter, weekdays? Jangan harap ah mama nak kasi aku pegang modem. Kbyee.
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor! 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???
Its April everybody! And, March is done with a jerk problems to me. I'm not like the others that strong and blablabla. Aku ni cenggeng! Menangis je kerja-.- Okay, April is going so fast. And like usually. Banyak benor masalah kay. Last Sunday, I broke down my simcard. Ahh, awesome aite? Hahaha, mhmm. there is a pretty good reason of why i'm broking down my simcard. Na'ahh, forget it! Bukak buku baru jom?
Since we have some extra time this evening, we went to find a home for us to stay. Or to be dreamed in another word. We browsed around ampang since there's tons of huge houses. Then continued our journey to Cane hill. Cane hill? Can you imagine how insane are we? I don't understand why there is such thing as school in every parents' mind. Okay, scratch that every. It could be more nicer if I write some. I know a few which do not put a school as a major thing for their children. And it is actually more wiser according to Islam My mood of life is getting more healthy now. I mean today. What else I would be tested later? We don't know. I was always asking myself about what is the purpose of life? And why are we should be here? The truth is, we are born to solve the mystery of the puzzle of life. Obey god in everything. We are told that Allah created us, placed us on this earth is to test us. And we will be rewarded or punished as a result. So no matter what He did to us, we should pray to Allah, remember Him in every second of our life. Allah is most merciful. InsyaAllah He will help us if we take care of His rights.
For the most, like if anything happen. Nothing to be change, and the truth is. I cant live without you! Please baby :'(